Who Am I?
Such a seemingly simple question, but it’s one I’ve struggled with since I became a mum (and subsequently a 30 year old divorcee/single mum).
But if you asked my 4yo “Who are you?” you would get a very straight forward and succinct answer;
“I’m Hayley and I’m 4 years old”
Before she rattles off all the things she loves to do and wrapping it up nicely with the bonus tidbit;
“And this is my baby brother Kayden, he’s 1 years old”
5 years ago I would’ve told you that I was Maggie; fashion blogger, on-road sales rep, sometimes baker.
But in a blink of an eye I went from this person who knew who she was and what she wanted (as much as a 25 year old could know) to a sleep deprived first time mum who Googled every.single.thing.
Everything felt foreign; my mind, my body, what I enjoyed.
The loss of who I was got muddled further when the person who should’ve supported me the most in this world became the person who would disintegrate what little of me was left.
I will never forget the conversation I had with him as my 30th birthday fast approached.
My parents had asked what I wanted for this milestone birthday and I had decided I wanted to get back into photography, something I did before kids and loved thoroughly.
I was torn between doing a photography course vs getting a new camera.
The conversation that followed made me question my passion for photography entirely.
“Why would you choose a photography course or camera for your gift? I’ve never seen you use your camera.
Why don’t you choose something the whole family can enjoy and not just yourself?”
The conversation left me doubting my passion for photography and whether it was a worthy investment.
I questioned whether I would make time for this passion I longed to reignite or whether his words rang true and it would fall by the wayside.
For the record, I got the camera and ditched the husband a month before I turned 30.
Since turning 30, and ditching the unsupportive voice in my life, I have begun the search for the answer to the question I have long not been able to answer — who am I?
Without question I am a mama, a daughter, a sister, a friend.
But now I can proudly add that I am also a writer.
It may seem like such a small thing to add to a question as big as Who am I? but for the longest time (and even after several articles were published by Mamamia) I never thought of myself as a writer.
Did I write? Yes.
Did I enjoy writing? Also yes.
Did I ever consider myself a writer even with published works under my name? Absolutely not.
Call it fear, call it imposter syndrome but I never considered myself a serious writer until now.
So, hi.
My name is Maggie.
I’m a proud single mama of 2, DV survivor and writer.
Who are you?