2am Thoughts — the inked mama.

2am Thoughts

Catching my running thoughts and putting pen to paper.
trigger warning self harm & domestic violence

An open letter to the me a year ago. Where do I begin? As cliche as it sounds so much has changed and time truly heals all wounds. When you’re stuck in the trenches you find yourself counting the hours, minutes, seconds until you

Margaret Ye 24/2/23 Margaret Ye 24/2/23

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I pick up my phone a hundred times hoping to see your name come up, typing out messages I never send. This doesn’t feel real. I can’t comprehend that I can’t message you anymore because I know I won’t get a reply. It’s been so long sinc

Margaret Ye 10/12/22 Margaret Ye 10/12/22

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I don’t regret anything in my life as I’m a firm believer that everything builds who we are now; but I regret you. I regret you not because of how you broke me but because they deserve better than you. They deserve someone who would f

Margaret Ye 3/12/22 Margaret Ye 3/12/22

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I want a man who loves me, respects me, cherishes me. I want a man who’ll support my wildest dreams. Not just support it but encourage me when I lose hope and cheer the loudest when I hit milestones, even if he doesn’t understand the sig

Margaret Ye 7/10/22 Margaret Ye 7/10/22

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I watch as he breaks her heart the same way he has broken mine time and time again. “Why?” — she asks stoically, her voice hitching at the end giving her true feelings away, all while she tries to wrap her mind around what could be mor

Margaret Ye 31/8/22 Margaret Ye 31/8/22

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What if.  Life is filled with what ifs. The alternate path we could’ve taken; the wonder of where it may have led us.  Who we could have been if life took a different turn. Where our lives would be if we said yes instead of no

Margaret Ye 29/7/22 Margaret Ye 29/7/22

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It meant nothing to you. I meant nothing to you. I poured my heart out, hoping you felt the same. “Box it up”, you told me. And it was then I knew it was the end. I spend the next 7 days mourning a relationship that never w

Margaret Ye 23/7/22 Margaret Ye 23/7/22

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It was just a kiss but it was enough; one taste and I was hooked . Every fibre of my body was set alight and it was all because of you, baby. The pull you have on me is magnetic . Forever replaying in my mind — my hands running along

Margaret Ye 8/7/22 Margaret Ye 8/7/22

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It’s been 935 days, but if I’m honest it’s probably more than that, since I’ve felt it — since I felt the all encompassing love that you only find with your person, your partner, your lover. The type of love that is familiar and comfor

Margaret Ye 17/6/22 Margaret Ye 17/6/22

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A year of firsts without you. Queen’s Birthday Long Weekend. This time last year we went on our last family vacation; a trip that feels like a lifetime ago that it took me a moment to realise it was in fact a year ago and not longer.

Margaret Ye 13/6/22 Margaret Ye 13/6/22

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I feel so alone; in a house filled with so many beating hearts it’s ironic but here I am sitting in the shadows, by myself, nothing but the glow of my phone — so connected yet so disconnected . I wonder if I should call you, lean on yo

Margaret Ye 29/5/22 Margaret Ye 29/5/22

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Somedays my anxiety's grip takes a hold of me, threatening to sink this ship. I wake up to my heart beating wildly, thoughts racing; if breathing wasn't such an automatic action I would forget to breathe. I catch myself shuffling throug

Margaret Ye 18/5/22 Margaret Ye 18/5/22

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You pour your toxicity over us like gasoline, threatening to set us alight, willing us to burn. What you don’t know is; we’re fireproof. I knew this day would come, smelt the fumes of your lies before they enveloped us. They are but in

Margaret Ye 5/5/22 Margaret Ye 5/5/22

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“It’s your wifely duties to have sex with me. You should be so lucky I haven’t f*cked anyone else, most men in my situation would’ve by now. Do you know how many women hit on me all the time? I could have any woman I wanted.” This was th

Margaret Ye 5/5/22 Margaret Ye 5/5/22

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My heart weighs heavy. The words I want to say wrap around my throat; choking me. I pray that you catch a glimpse of my cry for help that befalls my face during that split second that I forget to hold myself together. I have never been

Margaret Ye 20/3/22 Margaret Ye 20/3/22

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My life hangs in the pendulum of your hands — pulled from one side to the other as you please. On any given whim, I’m jerked from the new reality I created without you and reminded how inexplicably linked we will be, for life. But this

Margaret Ye 26/2/22 Margaret Ye 26/2/22

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The weight of reality sits on my chest and I feel myself struggling to breathe. I thought when I walked away I could finally breathe easy but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. In some ways I’m finally free but in so many o

Margaret Ye 22/2/22 Margaret Ye 22/2/22

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As a hopeless romantic I long dreamt of my perfect guy; one who was chivalrous and exactly as Hollywood depicted in all those rom coms I devoured. I dreamt of being swept off my feet, of a love that was unimaginable. A love that would fi

Margaret Ye 31/1/22 Margaret Ye 31/1/22

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The pain echoes in the hollows of my chest, reverberating in the space where my heart once lived.

Margaret Ye 26/12/21 Margaret Ye 26/12/21

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Like a solar flare you were all consuming then you were gone without a trace. I lie here numb from your words and I remind myself that you were a figment of my imagination. I didn’t know you, not really. Everything I loved was what I cre

Margaret Ye 25/12/21 Margaret Ye 25/12/21

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