It meant nothing to you.

I meant nothing to you.

I poured my heart out, hoping you felt the same.

“Box it up”, you told me.

And it was then I knew it was the end.

I spend the next 7 days mourning a relationship that never was.

I pick up the phone a hundred times to call you before realising I no longer can.

I wake up having dreamt of you, only to find your side of the bed empty.

The ache in my heart threatens to unravel me. Then I remember, you don’t feel the same.

I didn’t want to lose you yet here we are, strangers again.

Eventually I start to breathe again; I find my feet.

But just as I lift my head from underwater, I get dragged back below.

So this is why I should’ve deleted you from every facet of my life. Just like that, you’re back to the forefront of my mind. But this time what I see crushes me. I was sad, but now I’m mad.

It was all a lie. None of it real. But why am I surprised? The signs were there all along.

*Ping*

“You ok?”

I debate whether to answer you or leave you on read.

Torn between two minds of telling you just how much I’m hurting and pretending that you don’t matter, just like how I never mattered.

With my heart in my throat I ask myself — "how did we get here?"