I feel so alone; in a house filled with so many beating hearts it’s ironic but here I am sitting in the shadows, by myself, nothing but the glow of my phone — so connected yet so disconnected.

I wonder if I should call you, lean on you one last time, but you’re the cause of this heart ache and just like that I’m back to square one.

Don’t tell me “I told you so”, you were right — are those the words you want to hear as I fight back tears?

The spiral begins and I make my descent into a world I’m all to familiar with; my second home.

Perhaps I’ll stay here for a bit, at least be surrounded by the familiar; comfort of the known.

The movie reel that is us replays behind the shutters of my closed eyes and just like that I long to fall into your deep embrace, to feel the softness of your lips, and hear your words envelope me. But as soon as my eyes flutter open I realise that it was nothing but a dream; a cruel reminder of what could’ve been, or more accurately, what I wanted it to be.

Is this the life I am cursed to live?

Forever giving my heart away only to have it tossed aside, discarded like yesterday’s news. It beats faintly, in desperate need of a kindred soul to replenish it but I remind myself, I am the only one who can mend it; this is not a task one can outsource.